In these days of the nanny state, we all know it’s important to label everything in case of improper use. But sometimes manufacturers get it slightly wrong…

Gadgets

• In a microwave oven manual:
 Do not use for drying pets.
• On an iron: Not to be used to iron garments while you are wearing them.
• On a blow torch: Not used to dry hair.
• On a hair dryer:
 Do not use while sleeping.
• On a Swedish chain saw:
 Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
• On a TV remote:
 Not Dishwasher safe.
• Directions for mosquito repellant:
 Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.
• In a dishwasher manual:
 Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.
• On a toaster:
 Do not use underwater.
• In a kettle instruction manual:
 The appliance is switched on by setting the ‘ON/OFF’ button to the ‘ON’ position.
• On a push along lawn mower: 
Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.
• In a car handbook:
 In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.

Food

• On a bag of Fritos:
 You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
• On the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert: 
Do not turn upside down.
• On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
 Product will be hot after heating.
• On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
 Warning: Contains nuts
• On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
 Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.
• On a take away coffee cup:
 Caution: Hot beverages are hot.
• On the bottom of a cola bottle: 
Do not open here.
• On a muffin packet: 
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
• On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.
• On a bottle of rum:
 Open bottle before drinking.

Around the home

• On a toilet cleaning brush:
 Do not use orally.
• On a can of Spray paint:
 Do not spray in your face.
• On a can of air freshener: 
For use by trained personnel only.
• On a bottle of baby lotion:
 Keep away from children.
• On the packaging for a wrist watch:
 Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
• On a mattress:
 Do not attempt to swallow.
• On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
 Some assembly required.
• On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
 May irritate eyes.
• On a Frisbee:
 Warning: may contain small parts.
• On a birthday card for a one year old:
 Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.
• On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.
• On a box of fireworks:
 Do not put in mouth.
• On a bottle of laundry detergent:
 Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

Medicine

• On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine:
 Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
• On Nytol Sleep Aid:
 Warning: May cause drowsiness.
• On a box of aspirin:
 Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

In the air

• On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
 Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
• On a Harry Potter wizard’s broom:
 This broom does not actually fly.
• On a child’s Superman costume:
 Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
• On the back of a pilot’s seat in a Nato aircraft:
 Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.

And from around the world…

• Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
 In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.
• Rules on a tram in Prague: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted (sic).
• A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
 Beware of people.
• A car park sign: 
Entrance only. Do not enter.
• Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA: 
Take care: new non-slip surface.
• On a washing machine in a UK launderette:
 No small children.
• In a hotel bedroom:
 Please do not turn on TV except when in use.
• In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
 Push this button in case anything happens.